Salem: Chapter 4.5 "Conversation with a Specter"

Last time with the Diffys, we bought a new house. Everyone spent some time just settling in as Salem and Maura got used to married life. This time...

Police officer: "This little 'charity' has gotten quite a few noise complaints from everyone who hangs about the junk yard. It's time to perform a little inspection."

 Salem: "Um...totally should have paid more attention to those 'what to do when the police knock on our door' training days."

 Police officer: "That's right! You run into my car! I didn't even see anything illegal, but I'm taking you downtown! Heh, I've always wanted to say that."

 Salem: "This is great for my street cred!"

 Maura: "Salem was supposed to be home hours ago!"

 Maura: "Your son is so irresponsible sometimes!"
Emily: "Maura, please."

 Emily: "I know you're upset, but maybe you should just take a minute to calm yourself."

 Maura: "...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken that out on you. I'm just worried about him."

 If Maura had only looked over the fence, she might have seen a certain someone at the police station.

 Salem: "Finally out. That wasn't so bad; I got in a good workout."

 Salem: "...I didn't expect Maura to still be up."

 Maura: "Salem! I've been worried all day about you! What happened?"
Salem: "Well, you see..."

 Salem: "My boss suddenly decided to do an unexpected charity drive. I was on the phone all day, trying to get people to donate."
Maura: "...oh."

Maura: "Well call home next time. I know your mom was worried too."
Salem: "No problem, I'll remember next time."

 Salem: "Hey Mom! Ready for our late night ghost hunt?"

Emily: "Let's go, sweetie."

 Salem: "Olive Specter's grave."
Emily: "Hm. I didn't really know her, but Ophelia said some strange things..."

 Emily: "Ok, I am getting a little creeped out here. Do you feel like someone's watching us?"

 Salem: "Well, Mom, we are in a creepy graveyard at midnight. I don't know what you expected to find."
Emily: "I'm sorry...I guess it's just curiosity. And Ophelia sent me here. She said the dead talk."
Salem: "Strange. I'll believe it when I see it."

After a few minutes:

 Salem: "Is that--? No, it's a trick. When I open my eyes she'll be gone."

 Olive: "Hello? I'm still here."
Salem: "Gah!"

 Salem: "Umm...am I crazy?"
Olive: "If you think you're hallucinating, is your hallucination the most reliable source to ask?"
Salem: "Look, I'm just here to help my mother. She thinks you're the answer."

Olive: "She's afraid of death, yeah?"
Salem: "Actually, this all came about after my father nearly died."
Olive: "She wants to save her loved ones, then."

 Olive: "I searched all my life for an answer to Death. My reasons are my own. My methods were through the supernatural and all different kinds of magic, and I never found what I was looking for. I suggest a different method for you."

 Emily: "Hey Salem, I found a snake!"

 Salem: "She can't see you."
Olive: "She wouldn't understand. You know what to do."

 Maura: "Hey Ashley."

 Maura: "Any particular reason you chose to come in your swimsuit?"
Ashley: "I thought you guys have a heated pool?"
Maura: "Er, no."
I don't think I've mentioned this, but Maura and Ashley are cousins. His parents are Nervous and Erin, and Erin is Loki's sister.

 Salem: "Ash! Nice swimsuit."

 Maura: "Let the game commence."

 Salem: "So what happened to Bridget?"
Ashley: "She decided to stay at home. She just found out that she's pregnant, and she's been staying in most days since."

 Salem: "Oh."

 Salem: "So can you believe Bridget and Ash are having a baby? It kind of gave me an idea..."

 Maura: "Is that where you're going right now? Well, I'd say there's enough space in this house. We do have an extra bedroom."

 Salem: "So...?"

 Maura: "Ok, let's do it."

 On the job, Cinnamon Bun discovers that Ashley and Bridget moved into the old house.

 C.B. saved a pregnant Bridget!

 And her husband! Still in his swimsuit!

 Maura: "Dad really hasn't changed, has he?"
Ami: "Nope, and it's kind of a shame."

 Loki: "Boo!"
Rhiannon: "Dad, I'm doing homework."

Loki: "Not much fun when she doesn't play along."

 Salem: "Wow, Tank Grunt is crying into his pie face?!"
Loki: "Pull yourself together, kid!"

 Emily still fishes in her old age.

 Emily: "It's so peaceful, and I like to be by myself sometimes."

Maura: "Woo! I just got nauseous and threw up into the toilet! Salem will be so excited!"

 Maura: "Salem--"
Salem: "I know, I'm sorry I was late again--"
Maura: "No, that's not what this is about."

 Maura: "So I took a test, and...well, we're going to have a baby."

 Salem: "Oh, seriously?! That's fantastic!"

 In the early morning, Gilbert takes a journey to his old home.

 Gilbert: "Mama! Papa!"

 Gilbert: "I have really missed you all, you don't even know." *wishes fulfilled*

 Maura: "Woo!"
Emily: "You've really been getting into all this country line dancing lately."

 Maura: "Hey, I have nothing better to do all day, since the salon won't let me work."

Maura: "You should join in! It really is fun!"
Emily: "I think I'm...too old for that."

Next time: Salem and Maura's baby will be born!